EIGHT GUIDING PRINCIPLES
These are insights we drew visiting senior care facilities starting in Oct 2025 when my grandfather was admitted to a secured memory care facility.
Facility types include memory care (secured units for dementia), assisted living, and long-term skilled nursing. Go to Facility Types for important info.
We sometimes noticed well-meaning volunteers struggle to interact naturally with residents in wheelchairs and those experiencing memory ailments. Some tend to speak to these elders like children. Others would keep physical distance from them throughout the session. All of it was well-meaning. However, since my grandfather was one of these residents, it hurt a bit to see this.
I knew we could do better and learn along the way. The first “ah-ah” moment was empathy, to see from the residents’ point of view. The rest flowed naturally.
We hope this information enhances your experience as well!
-Clara Yang
Be a guest, not a “volunteer”
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Go with a mindset of visiting your grandparents instead of going to a “place of need to help out.” Don’t make the senior center residents feel like charity recipients. Everyone benefits from this experience if we do it right!
Human interaction is more important than song quality
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Stay awhile. Don’t pack up and leave after playing music. A kid sitting with a senior for five minutes could have more impact than the whole performance.
We were told dementia patients in the secured memory unit asked how the flute girls were doing days after the performance. People with dementia remembered us!!
*Clarification - song quality IS IMPORTANT too! Beautifully played music heals.
Respect and love them as adults
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The seniors are adults with a long history of experiences. They had careers and expertise in multiple fields. They were once young, strong, and beautiful. They are someone’s mom or dad. They are some kids’s grandparent. They are more than patient in a secured care unit.
You never know who is sitting in front of you. Maybe they were engineers or doctors. Maybe they were incredible musicians or athletes in their youth. They were born during WWII and lived through an unimaginable period of human history.
Music can reconnect residents with their own identity
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As musicians, we personally understand how deeply music touches us. Help our hosts reconnect with their own identity. Select songs with the audience in mind. Ask for requests for future visits. Time-travel together back to the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, etc!
We were told that residents can lose touch with who they used to be. Inspire them to rediscover their confidence and rich life experiences.
Encourage participation and LISTEN!
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Let residents contribute rather than just receive. Our visits are a refreshing opportunity to talk and share. Learn ways to get the seniors to open up and tell us what’s on their minds. Maybe we will learn a thing or two and improve our conversational skills!
Build relationships. Remember names.
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Returning regularly, recognizing faces, and remembering names will deepen the experience for everyone. People will feel more connected and cared for. Take the time to get to know the nurses, assistants, and coordinators! You will discover angels among the staff.
Everyone loves animals there!
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Frankie, our doodle, has a blast at these sessions. She’s such an extrovert! The residents brighten up as well and many comment how Frankie reminds them of their own dog they haven’t seen and miss dearly. Some get quite emotional when petting Frankie. Bring a pet or two or three! Just get permission, but we’ve never had a facility deny Frankie.
Spread the news and get involved
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According to the San Diego County Health and Human Services, there are approximately 400 - 500 senior living facilities. That’s just in San Diego! There is plenty of need out there. We, musicians, have practiced thousands of hours and went to hundreds of lessons. Let’s make the most of our talent and share!